I remember looking at my father and wanting to understand him after 10 years of not seeing him. I was numb, for the first time I had nothing to feel but a part of me wanted to give him the chance to make it right. I was lost, confused and bitter and he was clueless and oblivious that his absence has effected me in my many ways . He was overwhelmed by life, I guess. I will never forget how big his heart is. But my parents were never happy together, they didn’t belong to each other but it was there destiny that lead to my sister and me. My mother basically did all the work, she has been everything to us and then they finally got divorced and I didn’t see him for a long time. I had 12 surgeries and I always dreamed he would come like superman and some how that would take my pain away but he never showed up. He was supposed to be my hero but all my life he was a no show. He just wasn’t there physically or emotionally and I am living with the effects of the chaos.